Have you ever had the feeling that you should ask someone a few questions, but you don’t want to seem “nosey” or accusatory? Have you been afraid to confront someone because you don’t want to “hurt” the relationship? Let me suggest that often times you should consider the idea that if you care enough, you will confront.
We know that confrontation often has a negative connotation. We are concerned about making things worse so we try to avoid it at all cost. Confrontation can actually be a positive thing if we approach it with the other person’s best interest at heart.
A few things you should avoid when confronting someone are using words like “always” or “never.” Addressing or attacking the person instead of the wrong action they are participating in, and trying to make a change without offering a game plan to fix the problem are both sure fire ways to damage a relationship or cause the other person to shut down.
Dads should definitely ask their children questions!
There are the everyday questions like:
How was your day? How did your test go today? What did you enjoy most about your day?
These are all questions that suggest that you are involved in their lives every day. Questions that let them know that you are not just present but engaged. Will they appreciate these questions? For many children, they will think you are a busybody and surely you have other things to do. Others will appreciate the mere fact that you have taken some time to interact with them. The goal is that one day, after they are grown, they will realize that you weren’t being a pest but a protector.
Then there are the questions that aren’t asked every day, but should definitely be asked regularly. A few examples are:
Who are your best friends? What is your favorite thing to do/play/eat/watch? (Any variation of favorites work great here) One of the most important question you ask should ask is, “What is your greatest fear?”
Children often feel like they are alone in this world and that they have to “tough it out” or “suck it up!” Lessons experienced first hand are often some of the most memorable. However, there are times that a little instruction with a dash of encouragement just might help that child who feels isolated.
Ask the questions! Our time to “train” up our children is fleeting and we often try to be reactive instead of proactive. We all desire to raise mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually healthy children, but we have to ask the questions and be involved in order to make a difference. Training is intentional and demands consistency. Be consistent in lovingly asking the questions, but make sure you address the hard questions. Those could be the ones that keep your children from a life of chaos and confusion.